Okay first off despite popular opinion I do not think that spanking will resolve anything with your son. My son is also four years old, and he went through a little phase as well, minus the peeing, but all children are different. My advice is to sit down with him one on one and have a talk with him. I wouldn't do it after an outburst though. But sit him down and ask him what is going on. He may be having some issues with other things that are going on around him, and you haven't noticed, mine got upset because I moved the clock for pete's sake. If you can sit him down and have a talk with him and maybe explain that you and he both know that this behaviour is unacceptable, that may make a difference. If you don't already do this maybe you can schedule some special you and him time everyday, depending on your schedule. To me it sounds like he is looking for some attention from you, but he is just going about it in the wrong way. The peeing in the closet should be his job to clean up, with you supervising, of course, and let him understand that this is not right. I think that all children go through a spot where they need to see just how far they can go, and we need to step in and give them their boundaries. I wish you all the best of luck, and just try a heart to heart with him.I need advice about my 4 year old son?
This might sound crazy, but let it go for a little while. I think both of you need a breather.
And I hate to say this, but I think bad behavior comes from bad parenting. It's obvious you're not being firm enough with him if he's not listening at all. You need to figure out a better way to discipline him.
And call me old fashioned, but a swat on the hind end never did anyone any harm.
My four year old never went through the terrible twos, he was an angel at three, then when he hit four, I realized that ';four'; was a four letter 'f' word. It was awful. I stuck to the stuff that was important to me, and got a lot of headaches. He's exploring his boundaries and hopefully he'll outgrow it in a few months. Its a long few months, though.
Spank his little ***! Show him who's the boss and parent. My son use to be like that until he knew he cant do what he wants. He is 9 now...and fears that when i know he does something wrong he starts crying before i spank him.
Now spank him out of love and not in anger. There is a difference. You must put that staple in parenting.
I would spank my children and know that they will be good citizens in the future rather than not spanking them and they become criminals.
its just a phase so dont worry he will be fine in a week or 2
If you let your son keep acting the way he does he will be accustomed to doing the same mischief, so it better to discipline him and keep him from doing anything that would be considered wrong for about a week worths of time
The boy may need some attention. If that is so, you can encourage good behaviour by praising him when he is good. Sometimes, you can anticipate. E.g. When he is drinking, tell him to pee in the toilet later. Tell him also If he does the right thing, he will get *___________ (insert his favourite treat) for being a good boy. Remind him every 10minutes to make sure he does the right thing. You can even bring him to the toilet to encourage him to pee. Reward him anyway. So he can associate rewards with right behaviour.
Do the same for all his bad behaviour. Don't attack all at the same time. Start with pee first. Once he can pee correctly. Then you target the next problem.
Or you can list his behaviour in priority of seriousness. Start with the one you think will be easier for him to understand and change.
Control your anger and do not give him attention when he does bad. Reason with him. Initially you may find it pointless as he would continue his bad behaviour. Stay calm and firm and keep at what you set out to do repeatedly. The boy will understand after a while. Kids need repeatings to remember.
Since they say he is too young to be ascertain as ADHD, you can consider sending him to a preschool so he can learn some social behaviour by observing other kids.
Good luck!
Spank him! It's legal and sit his butt in the time out chair let him know you are NOT playing around.
Be assertive and make eye contact.
You need to take a firmer hand and let him know it is not ok to pee in his closet and that big boys go in the toilet. as far as the other stuff he just may want more positive attention from you. take time that you schedule with him every day to play and have fun.that should show some results and better behavior.hope i helped!
Be firm with him and make him respect you. You are the boss....not him. If he pees in his closet....than make him clean it up! (you do the better cleaning when he isn't around to watch you, though).
When he says things he shouldn't say, explain to him why we don't say those things. Also tell him that if he says it again...he will be punished. FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR PUNISHMENT. That is the most important part of all.
I have a 4 year old son, too. And at this age, they want to make their own decisions. That is fine, as long as it doesn't break any of my rules. If it does, he decision is void. Period, end of story. I tell him that this is life and he will have to get over it. Maybe I am hard on him sometimes, but for the most part, he is a wonderful child and I tell him that everyday.....I make sure to add that I always love him, even when he is bad.
Here are a couple of thoughts:
- Bad behaviour is often the result of frustration. Try to watch his body language for early signs of frustration and try to intervene before he gets too far. Kids have so many emotions and sometimes don't have the words to say them.
-Be sure that he has a good predictable schedule and knows what to expect. When kids have a sense of disorder or chaos around, they mimic it. Try to keep things as low key as possible. If there has been a big change in his life recently, this can be the cause of all this acting out.
- He needs to feel a sense of control. Give him as many choices a possible. Does he was Cheerios or Coco puffs for breakfast? Give him as many choices as possible.
-Get him involved! If you are cleaning house, find fun ways he can help you. if you are at the store, turn it into a hunt and let him help you find the things you need
-Reward good behavior and do not reinforce bad. If he has helped you at the store, be sure to tell him how much it helped you! If he acted up, put an immediate stop to it. Talk to him using as few words as possible. The more words, the less likely he will follow what you are saying./
-Proper punishments when he does act out. Time out gets old and eventually stops working. Try to make a punishment that will teach him something. If you told him to clean up his toys and he has , instead taken them all out, make him clean them up. If he is peeing in the closet, give him a sponge and soap and water and he can clean it up and you can talk to him about why he should not pee in the closet.
Just a few things that may help. If you don't get results with these tips, try calling his doctor for advice. He doesn't have to have a diagnosis of ADHD to need a little guidance and pediatricians are great for that.
Good luck!
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