Advice about a friend in an abusive relationship?

My friend has been with her boyfriend for 6 years and recently she called me and told me that he grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the ground and restrained her on the ground and spit in her face. So immediately I drove out and picked her up and she has been staying out at my house since it happened, it's been about a week now.





She is kind of gullible and he has pretty much brain washed her into believing no one will ever want her... i'm afraid she might go back, so I constantly talk to her about the things he did and make her see that they were bad and she shouldn't be treated like that. And I tell her not to see him or talk to him.





I need to know am I being too pushy? I only want what is best for her, but I don't want to push her away from me in the process? Should I back off, even though it could mean her not being safe?Advice about a friend in an abusive relationship?
im really sorry about your friend hope this link can help you get started!!!!Advice about a friend in an abusive relationship?
It's hard to make someone realize that she's in danger of being seriously hurt or worse. Do all you can. She has to make the decision to leave him.
I've been in a similar situation as well. All I can say is, please be there for your friend no matter what. Even if after all your efforts to keep her away from him, she goes back, dont get mad at her. Its not that she doesnt care about you, but she is being controlled by him. Let her know that you will always be there for her no matter what. And if she calls you again one day needing help, you will help her. Its very difficult to get away from someone like that, trust me. She may even leave and go back to him a few times, but in the end you may be the only one she has left to help her. Its very hard to leave or leave again when you have no one to turn to.
There is no good reason for her to go back to this abuser. The best thing to do is to everthing you can to prevent her from being in harm's way. No matter how pushy you are, I can't imagine you are never going to be as physical her boyfriend was, are you?





Good luck.
Definitely not, your being a good friend and your doing what is best for her.





You may alienate her but you have also planted the seed in her head that she is better then that, and deserves better, just keep watering and fertilizing the seed and it will grow into a beautiful flower.





It's too bad there aren't more friends like you around, too many people that say they are friends run at the first time of trouble and aren't there when they are needed.





Your a good friend, one day she will see that, hopefully you can get through to her that no one has the right to abuse anyone else.





If she does go back to him and he does it again you phone the police and report him, the police can lay charges in most places even if she won't. That would be for her own good.





Good Luck!
The only advice I can give u on this one is just give her your opinion in a nice way %26amp; she will do what she wants in the end.Try to realize she probably loves the bastard %26amp; hopefully she will see the light.
she'll never be able to get away from him without the support of somebody strong and it sounds like you are just the girl. as long as you can handle it, keep doing what you are doing. do not back off but also be careful, abusive guys are very possessive and he will be jealous of you and may try to hurt you. but like i said if you are stronmg enough and really want to help keep doing everything you are doing. even if he stops abusing her he will screw her life up in other ways if they get back together.
No! keep pushing to keep her safe from this fraggot. You're a good friend and she's lucky to have you.





Keep working with her. I'll talk to her too if you want me to.
The only thing you can do is be there for her when she needs you. She is the only one who can decide when she's had enough. You can turn blue in the face trying to warn her about him but unless she makes the decision to leave him you'll have to stand back and not push or she can get defensive and lose her friendship. She's a big girl, just let her know your there for her if she ever needs a shoulder to cry on but let her make her own decisions.
I was in the same type of relationship when i was 16. He pulled me by the hair and so.. on. I was really young and stupid then and he was my first everything. i gave him something that was so sacred to me and he knew that, so he took advantage of that and turned everything on me. He verbally abused me the most. he called me names, dick-hopping hoe..cheating whore..mind you that..this was all in his head and that his insecurities got the best of him. i was stupid and stayed with him because he got me believing no one else wanted me because i had already lost my virginity and that i was just some whore. My friend tried to help me but one of the symtoms of an abused person..often times..is to push their friends away because they are ashamed... . Ashamed of letting their friends find out that they are some kind of weak person..if you plan on helping your friend.. dont give up..she might try to push you away but dont let her do that.. let her know you'll always be there for her..even if she does reject you.. BUT NO MATTER WHAT.. dont let her go back to that low life Mother....ERRR! you know what i mean..just dont let her leave the hard way... as for him..that dude needs some anger management classes.
I'm in that situation now, and she's so lucky to have a friend like you! I live with the guy and I don't know what to do right now. No woman deserves to be abused, and I'm realizing that it's not me, it's him. I get called horrible names, if I say anything, even if it's a known fact I get called an idiot, a retard, stupid, I have no friends anymore, I get questioned where I go and what I do, and the worst - I am the maid in the house. I have to do all the laundry, all the cleaning, cook dinner, etc. Keep trying to help her, try to get her to see that there's someone out there for her who will love and respect her. She will hopefully realize that she's extremely fortunate to have a way out, and things will never change. I kept telling myself that he'd change, and that we'd be happy. It hasn't happened yet, and now I realize it's not going to. Keep trying to help her, you're definitely doing the right thing!!
No keep @ it. The truth may hurt but it's the best for her! There are plenty of guys out there that would give her the love she deserves! F the boyfriend and report his *** or harassment!
hell no. keep doin what a good friend should do and thats being concerned for your friend's safety. if you need help, look up websites that deal with abusive relationships and what can happen if she stays in one.
If it were me...I would feel like it was my duty as a friend to help her do something she cannot do alone. Keep at it, and good for you for doing so.
The problem with your issue is, that you are hearing things from one perspective. You are her friend and you feel the need to protect her, which is honorable. But at the same time her boyfriend has his side of the story also. Through my experiences it takes 2 to cause a problem. Always. I'm not saying it is ok for what your friend says he did to her, its absolutely wrong and cowardly that he did that. If he did.


Since you are her friend, protect her by all means. But if she decides to go back to him, she is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. If she goes back, I would assume that some of her accusations were false. I understand the brain washing part, but you said she has been with you for a week now right? well that would almost be enough time to come up with a decision with her relationship, and also time to think about their problems. If she wants to work things out with him, then let her. But if you know with out a doubt that her boyfriend is like what you said, meaning facts, then by all means help her.


Good luck
No your a good friend for trying too protect her! Your even a better friend by letting her know she has to have her own self respect as a woman and a human being . No body deserves to be treated that way and you need to get her some help from from a woman's group ( can't think of the name sorry ) not only will they help they will protect her with a court order.





Sometimes hearing it from some else beside a friend does more good. It might help get through to her that the abusive relationship she is in is not a healthy or normal relationship. and maybe convince her that she deserves respect . Pain and love are not the same.